Marriage isn’t easy, as I’m sure you already know, it can be tough, especially when you and your spouse are on a different page on so many issues. And when things are hard, we’re all guilty of making mistakes from time to time. But despite what you see on TV shows and movies, there really is no such thing as the perfect couple.
In fact, it’s usually actually healthy to have the odd disagreement every now and then, because arguing with your spouse allows you both to let out some steam and error of the things that are bothersome in the marriage. But that being said, there are certain mistakes that once they’re made, there’s no undoing them.
So no matter how many times you say I’m sorry for these, these types of mistakes, it’s not going to undo the damage that it’s already done. As the old saying goes, it’s easier to forgive them to forget. And unfortunately, there are certain mistakes that can be deal breakers in a marriage.
Sometimes it’s just one big mistake. Other times it can be a series of smaller ones. But if you and your spouse, don’t work towards rectifying your mistakes as you grow together, then your marriage is going to begin to suffer. So, of course, you might be wondering what some of the mistakes are that could end your marriage… So let’s talk about them.
Before we get into that, i want to mention that this article and all the articles, the knowledge i have here are inspired by the EX FACTOR GUIDE, a very helpful and unique relationship tips and tricks for a better relationship, marriage and even to get your ex back…so if you need more help i highly suggest to take a look by clicking here.
now ,let’s get into the kind of mistakes that can ruin your marriage:
it’s important to note that the only way to avoid making the same mistake twice is to acknowledge that you made a mistake and understand that what you did was wrong, and then just never do it again. Many of us commit the same mistake over and over. For reasons that only we know. But what we fail to see is that when we commit the same mistakes, we’re hurting our spouses.
So if you find yourself, you know, committing the following mistakes and are about to cover, take a step back and consider how your actions are possibly setting a really negative tone in your marriage. Now to get it out of the way, I’m going to start by “acknowledging that cheating is clearly the big no no of any marriage”.
Yes, I know, it’s an obvious one. But the mistakes that I’m about to talk about might be more overlooked than you thought. So let’s get into it.
Mistake number one : Disrespect
See, it’s common for couples to get on each other’s nerves or bump heads. But it’s key to never lose respect for one another. Because once the insults begin, there really is no going back. So you know, don’t throw the past in your spouse’s face, or take each other for granted. If you are in doubt about something, do not go through each other’s personal belongings, you know, looking for answers. But only is that an invasion of privacy.
But if your spouse finds out, they’re going to have a hard time trusting you again. So instead, face your doubts and discuss your concerns with your spouse, respect each other’s space, each other’s opinions, and beliefs. marriages that are based on a positive attitude, where we’re encouragement and respect are nurtured, have always worked better.
So as long as there’s respect, differences are going to be accepted. And out of respect, our partners are not going to cheat on us and out of respect, they’re going to help us if we let them know what’s going on.
Mistake number two : lying
So maybe you’re thinking I’m only saying a white lie, my spouse will never find out. But really, that statement is not necessarily true. There are circumstances in which you tell your spouse a white lie. After you rationalize why it’s acceptable, and get away with it.
Oftentimes, the truth will eventually come out. And when it does, your spouse is going to feel deceived, and believe that you’ve lied about other things throughout the marriage. So you kind of just created, you know, a space for doubt, a powerful emotion that can cause your partner to have second thoughts about your marriage.
So how do you avoid this?
practice honesty in your marriage, even if it means telling your partner something that they might not want to hear? now doing this is not only going to improve your marriage, but it will also mean that your partner will be in turn, more open and honest with you.
Mistake number three: being too controlling.
Now, this is definitely one of the biggest mistakes in a marriage, and one that’s often overlooked. And that’s when one partner desperately tries to control the other. So let’s take a look at the bigger picture here. You know, in life, we’re given opportunities, and every now and then we come across a once in a lifetime chance to better ourselves.
So this may mean you might be able to not be able to see your other half for a short period of time, or might mean that your relationship isn’t number one on your priority list for a little while. But if your spouse can’t see the importance of these opportunities, then this is definitely not a good sign. Because in a healthy relationship, you should encourage each other to be the best that you can be and strive towards both of your dreams, no matter the sacrifice.
So most times, you know, the main trait of a controlling partner is the need to try and change who you are. Now before you start thinking, but Emely, I’m only trying to help them.
Let me just explain. It is perfectly fine to encourage your partner to better themselves by suggesting they get more active or cut down on the Pepsi. But it’s another thing to demand that they dress in a certain way or try to change their beliefs or values. Now you married your spouse for a reason. So let them be who they are. Do what they like, in return, your spouse and your marriage are going to be much happier.
Mistake number four : rejecting your differences.
We all know, a couple, that’s all smiles and agreements. They’re the ones that go everywhere together, like the same foods, take the same cooking classes, and even watch the same TV shows, you know, they’re as happy as the 1950’s tv family.
Why wasn’t I that lucky, you might be thinking to yourself, but do take a step back because things are not always as they appear to be. In a marriage, it’s a mistake to expect your partner to like the same things as you do every minute of every day. So you know what, if they have a different opinion than you, who cares, it’s a good thing. Don’t push your spouse away or criticize their opinions, just because they’re different from yours.
Words hurt, and they’re tough to forget. So it’s totally normal to have different interests and opinions on your spouse. And if anything, it keeps things exciting. To avoid conflict, it’s important to accept and embrace your spouse’s differences. Not only does it make for a healthy relationship, but it also allows you to be you. So just because you have, you know, different interests or opinions, doesn’t mean you’re not compatible.And it is okay to change your mind on things.
Mistake number five: cutting out friends
So we’ve all seen them happened before, where we’re one of our friends, disappears from the scene, they stop turning up to events, their behavior changes, and you realize they’re not the same person they once were. Now, some people laugh about it and say it’s a case of being whipped.
Now, but this kind of behavior in married couples is really a lot more serious and common than many of us want to believe. See, here’s the thing, just because you’re married doesn’t change the fact that we are social beings, not to say that your spouse could be hitting the same bars every weekend. But now and then a night out with the old time buddies should not be interpreted as a sign of boredom or reason for jealousy.
sure, their banter might include small complaints about married life, but that’s healthy. Just, you know, think of it as a free and friendly therapy session. You’re supposed to his friends are an outlet for them to express their feelings, and share their stories. And believe it or not, taking away these things from your spouse will only secretly eat away at them. And in the long run, it’s going to hinder your marriage.
Besides, do you really want to have to listen to your other half ramble on about football or dissect the latest Taylor Swift album?
Mistake number six : not getting help when you need it.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with considering marriage counseling. In fact, even when your marriage is doing well going to see a counselor can improve things even further. No relationship is perfect. And identifying areas of easy improvement will only strengthen the foundation of your marriage and ensure that your marriage stays strong and happy. For more information on how you can register, just go to marriageguy.com/coaching.
And last, but certainly not least on the list is :
Mistake number seven : expectations and responsibilities.
So as a married couple, don’t assume that one spouse is responsible for everything. Both partnerships share responsibilities. And some instances, one spouse you know, maybe handles a little more than the other, but it’s up to the couple’s discretion.
Nevertheless, you know, expecting one spouse to do it all is totally unreasonable. If that is the case, you know why being married? You’re a team right?
Alright , if you have any questions about these common marriage mistakes, or you want more advice on how to avoid conflict in your marriage, please watch the free full length video presentation on marriageguy.com.