Marriage Successful relationships

7 Tips For Saving Your Marriage (Don’t Ignore This Crucial Advice!)

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Hi guys, Labiba here with another article
today I’m going to cover seven tips that will help save your marriage
even if it’s already been talk of a divorce
After reading this article, I encourage you to leave any comments or questions you may have in the comment section below
So please go ahead and share your feedback
Okay, let’s get started

You know the saying first comes love, then comes marriage then comes happily ever after End of story, right? Not quite
Well, it’s true that couples relax a bit after they’ve said their vows and tied the knot
The reality is that they may also find themselves puzzled if their fairy tale starts slipping away
Many people think that marriage is about marrying the right person
So when things start to go wrong, they begin to worry that they’ve accidentally married the wrong person
And although you do want to marry someone that you’re compatible with, marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person than it does with doing the right things with the person that you are married to
In other words, relationships are a constant work in progress
So if your marriage seems to be rocky currently, then try these tips to restore the happy connection that made you say I do in the first place

Tip number one analyze yourself

See a common assumption is that it takes both partners to save a marriage
Now this does seem reasonable, but it just isn’t true
Unless your spouse has truly and completely given up on the relationship, it is possible for you to make sufficient changes to save the marriage on your own, perhaps not immediately
But over time, it is inevitable that you’re unhappy partner will notice your positive changes and the positive changes in your behavior
And they will respond to it
Whether you know it or not, you and your spouse communicate in a revolving stimulus response pattern, if you will
That means that when you do or say something that acts as a stimulus and your partner reacts, and then you react to their reaction, and so on
The same thing occurs when your partner says or does something the two of you have built up a pattern of habitual actions and reactions over time
Since a couple is comprised of two individuals, a change in the behavior of one person will have an impact on the other and therefore the entire relationship
When the stimulus changes, there will be a new different response
And that new response will elicit another new and different response
And if this happens enough, a new pattern of behaviors begins to emerge
So assuming the new actions and reactions are positive, the relationship is going to take a positive turn
For example, if you’ve developed a habit of being disrespectful towards your spouse, he or she will have developed some kind of reaction or coping mechanism
If you stop being disrespectful and stop that type of behavior, he or she won’t need to use that coping mechanism and their reaction to you will change
The simplest step to saving your marriage is to take a frank look at your own behavior and how you can change it, how you communicate with your spouse, and what habits you have the kickstart arguments, spend some time looking at your relationship and figure out which parts work and which parts don’t take a moment to imagine a perfect day in your perfect relationship
What would it look like? How would you and your partner interact? Next, try creating a plan of how you might get from Point A where you’re currently at your current reality to point B that perfect day
Write it down if you need to, it can be something that you review just just to remind yourself what it is that you’re working towards
And to avoid feeling overwhelmed, break down the issues into doable steps and begin tackling them one at a time
By doing this, you’ll be able to take the initial steps in turning your attitude, your spouse’s reactions and your marriage around

Tip number two, give yourself some you time

Well, marriage is about giving don’t make the mistake of giving too much to have a good marriage, you need to be a good you
But what exactly does that mean? Well, it means that you need to learn how to prioritize and put boundaries around activities that keep you healthy and whole activities like rest, relaxation, fitness and time with friends
In other words, remember that scheduling knee time into your day is not selfish
It’s a necessity
It’ll strengthen your relationship because you’ll have a senior version of you to bring to the US equation
Now there are a few phrases that can send the mind to crisis mode
And I need space is one of those
Whether it’s you or your spouse hearing this it’s natural to begin questioning if you’ve been crowding them too much, or if it’s code for I want out
However, needing space doesn’t have to be a bad thing
By allowing you and your partner to each have some time for yourselves, it’ll not only give you both the chance to cool down, reset or feel eased, but it’ll also help put your marriage and any issues you’re facing into perspective
Sometimes even a little bit a little bit of time apart can be the key to actually resolving your marriage crisis

Tip number three, resolve the money madness

Money is one of the biggest sources of marital conflict and it can be one of the toughest to resolve
It’s something that many couples worry and argue about constantly
And disagreements over money can stem from many sources
If one partner earns considerably more than the other, resentment can build as a result of the greater earner policing expenditures or for the lesser earning person feeling guilty about spending or bitter about the unequal income

Money can be used in abuse for power in a relationship
It can also be a proxy for other points of disagreement or unhappiness in the marriage
Money isn’t just dollars or cents in a marriage, it can also represent control self worth or freedom, it can be used as a reward or a punishment
Now different objectives or attitudes towards spending can cause significant strife
If you and your spouse are starting to hound each other over dollars and cents, and it’s time to have a chat, it’s important for couples to make an active plan about how they’re met, how they manage their money, combine it, separate it, create a joint account and keep some separate
Whatever the plan is, both people have to be part of the decision to do it, and then figure out what needs to be done to keep the system running smoothly
The only thing you have to be careful about here is not letting this money talk turn into a screaming match
So keep things civilized
And if a discussion does begin to get heated, shut things down and revisit it another day
You may also want to consider investing in my mend the marriage program, which includes a special bonus book that covers this exact topic in detail
And you can learn about more about my program@marriageguy
com that’s marriageguy
com and I’ll put that URL in the description below the article as well

Tip number four, use the three sentence rule

When you need to ask your partner for something that could be misconstrued as nagging, limit the request to three sentences max
I know this may sound a little bit strange, but it helps when you need to be assertive without coming off as aggressive
By keeping your request to three sentences or less
It’s almost impossible to blame or use sarcasm and it’s a lot more likely that you’ll get your point across without losing your spouse’s attention
Now body language is everything here
Make your requests with a smile, use a warm tone and positive body language

Tip number five take a timeout

If you find yourself and your spouse in a heated situation
Don’t duke it out
Instead, consider taking a timeout walking away or getting some error
Humans are hardwired with a desire to win, which is why we have a hard time letting our guards down
When couples talk about hot button issues like sex housework money, kids, it’s not uncommon for the losing partner to turn up the heat and escalate the issue
So the next time you get you begin bickering with your spouse, take a break and revisit the subject when neither one of you feels overwhelmed by the topic
Going into a conversation that has the potential for debate with a common clear mind can actually really just completely avoid the argument altogether

Tip number six revive the intimacy

intimacy is an important part of any marriage
And it’s one of the first areas to suffer when feelings begin to dissipate
Although couples looking to mend their marriage frequently mentioned the lack of sex as a source of unhappiness, few people really understand the strong psychological effect that frequent sex has in a marriage
That said it can be very frustrating when struggling couples try to force intimacy back into their marriage
And it’s not uncommon to feel like sex is a heavier burden than the actual fighting that’s caused the emotional canyon in your marriage
You and your spouse may even feel like sex puts pressure on you to perform, but romancing your spouse isn’t about punishing yourself
Think of sex as your secret weapon to saving your marriage
It’s not about forcing yourself to enjoy sex, but rather more about sitting down with your spouse and openly communicating your own needs and desires
Now if you find that talking about sex with your partner is too difficult, then head over to my website marriageguy
com and watch the free full length presentation I’ve got there and talk more about that topic
Again, the URL is marriageguy
And you can go check that out after this article

Tip number seven give up the grudge

It’s time to let go of your bad memories
And to do this you need to be committed
It may sound easy, but believe me, it’s often tougher than you might think
Instead of carrying grudges around forever, try to let them go
give this a try
Write down all the negative memories that are a product of your marriage on a piece of paper
Then set a timer for a certain amount of time however long you think you’ll need to fully let these go
And during during this dedicated time
Allow yourself to wallow in the misery of these grudges
Savor them, get angry about them
mutter about them
Do whatever you need to do to get sick and tired of them
Once you’re done, commit to not thinking about these ever again
Realize that these grudges have lost their usefulness and there is no going back in time to change the course of history
Now, once you’re done, toss the list away and let them go
Not only you’ll feel relieved and lighter, but by releasing this negative energy, you’re also opening yourself up to a clean slate and a fresh start
Now if you’ve got any questions about these tips, or you’d like my advice on your specific situation, I do offer one on one coaching to a select number of clients
You can see my current coaching availability and learn more about my coaching program in general@marriageguy
com slash coaching
That’s about it for now
I hope that you learned something new and you’re feeling confident and excited about trying some of this out for your own marriage
And as always, I really appreciate those of you that take the time to like my articles and subscribe to my articles here on YouTube
And like I said, I’m also really interested to hear your feedback
So please go ahead and leave me a message below
Alright, that about does it
Thanks very much for reading
We’ll see you next time

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